Have my cake and eat it...ALL

I'm a spiritual person...I believe God created us and all things.  He did a pretty good job (way to go God!) on most things.  But what happened when he was creating food?  He made all the things I want to eat daily bad for me...(not His fault.. perhaps he thought we would LOVE Lima beans!)  Yesterday, I wanted to eat a whole cake.  (Funny, this happened right after I posted about my life changing reality and how wonderful it was to be living and changed, haha, of course...)  This is what happened...
So I hopped on the treadmill yesterday, so proud, running almost 3 miles.  I felt great!  I showered and got ready for work, happy, singing in the car.. ahh life was good.
I arrive and walk into the break room where we store our coats a personal belongings.  It's like someone set a trap for me.  There on the table is a cake.  Not just any cake, but German Chocolate, my favorite.  I look around expecting a person dressed in black with a mask sneaking out the back door, but, no one is there.  Apparently, it's not a trap set intentionally for me.. just a simple birthday gesture for a coworker.  I don't go near it, I'm avoiding it like it's a land mine or something..walking gingerly around it to fill my water bottle (good job, T water is good!!) and I go out to my desk.  I'm working away, talking to customers, smiling.. but inside I'm thinking about the cake.  Their voices fade to the background as my mind wanders to the yummy goodness awaiting me.  NO!  I will NOT deviate.  I shake my head and think "can I seriously be this focused on a stupid CAKE??!"  My lunch time is coming soon, and silly me I haven't had anything else to eat but my morning protein bar and I can feel the hunger pangs in my stomach.  Time  inches closer to my lunch hour, each minute making a loud click as the hands move on the clock.  It's unavoidable and I stand up to leave the lobby like I'm walking to my execution.  I'm standing at the doorway to the break room and I suddenly feel like a mouse and the cake is the cheese.  (Let's be real, I would have been just as excited for cheese but for arguments sake let's move forward.)  I'm moving a little at a time, studying it...looking around every few seconds to see if anyone is behind me.  I feel guilty already just looking at it!  I clear my head and decide this is ridiculous and I walk with my head high to the fridge to retrieve my healthy salad and HA! my DIET COKE.. not water, for a treat.  (take THAT, cake!)  I'm minding my own business, doing my daily crossword and Sudoku (NO, I'm not a nerd, it helps me stay sharp...okay...maybe I'm a little nerdy.)  In walks another employee, the one who the cake is for with a couple of other people.  "Alrighty, she says, time to cut into this baby!!"  I'm panicking just a little, but, I'm holding it together.  They slice into the cake and start serving themselves.  Meanwhile, I'm salivating like a dog under the dinner table.  I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.  Probably because I've been denying myself anything remotely sugary for awhile now.  This proves to be a mistake as, after they leave and I'm alone in my misery, I decide to end my suffering and just have a little...
Was it ever good...each slice.  Yes. Each -as in more than one- slice.  Oh yeah, baby, I started with one tiny sliver..then another.. and then one more.  I'm reasoning with myself that I haven't had a full piece yet, until I realize that a good portion of the cake is gone.  Not the whole thing, but, a significant area of the cake has disappeared.  I feel like the kid who has been sneaking the cookies without mom knowing until the jar is empty.  I don't think anyone will notice, and hey, plenty of people got their share.  Someone else walks into the break room as I'm pondering my actions and has the audacity to state "WOW, I better get some of this cake before it's gone!  Is it any good?" I must consider the facts.  I've eaten the cake.  I'm not gonna lie about it.  I will confess.  I say "yes..." (yes mom, I ate the cookies.)  I'm waiting for some kind of judgement, but it never comes.  Why?  Because no one has given it a second thought.  The only person that is being hard on themselves is me!
Why do we do this?  So I had some cake!!  BIG WHOOP!  I haven't eaten cake in months!  It's not like I eat cake daily..(oh but I so could.. hahaha).  We are all so hard on ourselves, especially as women.  (Guys are too, but, I sincerely doubt very many guys have analyzed eating a cake.)  Most women have no idea how beautiful they are, inside AND out.  We are critical of our every move, worried about what others may think or worst of all totally harsh on ourselves.  We must get over this.  We must do the best with what we have while still remembering who we are, for real. Now eating cake daily (or whatever your "cake" may be) isn't the best choice to be healthy, it is okay to just be a girl sometimes.  Take a deep breath.  Things are only as big of a deal as we make them out to be.  Don't forget that you were once just a girl, carefree and full of spirit.  Don't lose that part of yourself in your daily routine....and if you have..go find her.  Chances are she's been missing you, too.
Eat your cake girls,
Love T♥