Christmas Feeling

Remember when we were young and how you thought of Christmas?  Just thinking about it in September when school would start, imagining all of the things to come in the fall.  We had Halloween to keep us occupied, distracted by the costumes and mountains of candy.  Followed shortly by Thanksgiving and all of that turkey.  But when Thanksgiving ended, and if you were lucky the first snowfall came, our minds turned to Christmas.  For me, it was going to my Grandma's house in the Tri-Cities.  There were always at least 15 people there around the table - the adults making us kids wait until AFTER dinner to open presents.  We usually had our tradition on Christmas Eve - with an early dinner in the mid afternoon.  My grandma would plan every detail with balanced perfection ensuring each dish was ready at the exact moment the clock struck 3.  If dinner was at 3, it was AT 3.  Not 2:45 not 3:15.  3.  We would all sit around taking turns tearing the shiny wrapping off our gifts - the coolest part being that it went from youngest to oldest and I was the youngest one of the bunch.  It would take at least 3 hours to get through all of the presents and was followed up by each adult opening a box of chocolate covered cherries - my grandmothers tradition.  She would make popcorn balls and homemade fudge; at least 3 different types of desserts.  If we felt like it, we would stay in and play with our newly found treasures and the adults would visit and have coffee and hot toddy's.  Sometimes, we went to the movies where my grandma would bring some of the popcorn balls and fudge and hand them out to the employees who had to unfortunately work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.   
Christmas Day. 
Do you recall the feeling?  The one where you lay there all night, trying so hard to sleep so that morning will finally come??  You finally find the will to close your eyes and drift off to strange dreams... it only seems to last a moment and then you wake up!!  Sit up in bed!  It's 6am!!  You can't throw back the covers fast enough.  You are running down the stairs (down the hall, up the stairs) - you skid around the corner and there it is.  The angels sing their hallelujah chorus and you see it then.  The tree, the presents, the toys.  Your eyes flit to the half eaten plate of cookies you left for Santa the night before.  Oh my goodness..He was here.  You can hardly contain yourself.  I know I couldn't.  I couldn't WAIT to see what was in my stocking.  I couldn't wait to tear the paper off the presents and discover what was waiting inside.
I was thinking about all of this yesterday.  I have to admit, I was feeling really forlorn.  I so miss going to my grandmas, seeing all the presents, going to the movies, running down the hall Christmas morning... more than all that, I just miss the feeling.  Anxious, excited and this oh so deep feeling of joy... it was overwhelming and comforting at the same time.  I thought about how I would spend every holiday with my cousin Kari - and we would sit together every Christmas - and how it's been more than 2 years since I've actually seen her.  (We talk all the time of course, but it's not the same)  I realized that now it's my job.  It's my responsibility to create this same feeling for my kids.  That my mom's house is now the grandmas house and the family members are my sister in laws and brother in laws.. and WE were the ones sitting around drinking coffee and hot toddy's (sorta..haha) while the kids played with their new treasures.  It's kind of hard to be a grown up isn't it?  I still wish in some small way that Christmas was the same as it was.  I know now that it can't be the same... but it can still be good and it can be the best for my kids.  
That's worth it to me.  I want them to grow up and feel the same nostalgia that I do when I reminisce on Christmas Past.  And I think that Kari and I should still sit together every Christmas and holiday that we can... there is no reason that we can't, right!? We just have to be the ones to start and make the traditions.  Both of my grandmas were amazing women.  The grandma that Kari and I share surely instilled some of her traditions in both of us.  Now it's up to us to make it happen.  Heck, I'm actually attempting to cook, so I know she's proud of me for that!!!  (and Grandma, I didn't even make anyone sick!!!)
I know now that Christmas is about so much more than gifts... it's about family.  It's about Jesus' birth.  It's about traditions and giving.  It's so many things all wrapped into one special, joyous, elation.  And whatever your traditions may be, we can all agree on the "feeling" of Christmas I'm sure.
Wishing everyone out there a very Merry Christmas.  I hope you will find that little bit of Christmas feeling under the tree this year.
Much love~
T♥