Check your reflection

There is a man that I know.  He once had a vision to create housing for those who couldn't afford it. He took a risk and put everything he had into the project.  He was certain it is was for the greater good of everyone.  He lost almost everything along the way, but he kept at it and was finally successful.  He had accomplished decent, affordable housing for young families as well as a series of townhouses for those who were older.  It was a vision he had.  One that not many people know about.

He grew up on the Snake River in the summertime, working the farm with his grandparents and attending school where he lived in the neighboring city.  He had a tireless, work ethic instilled in him at a young age, a trait that would follow him wherever he went.  He had a strict and equally hard-working father, a domestic goddess of a mother who provided dinner to the minute every evening and a fun-loving, bubbly sister who provided much excitement to him and his parents on many occasions.  I truly think he was part of some of that excitement, but if you ask him, you will get a smirk and sideways comment to keep you guessing.

He worked throughout his life, first at financial institutions and then finally settling in to a management job for another company.  As the years went by he had ideas of more and eventually started a land development company and two others on top of that.

He's known for being stubborn and maybe a little loud at times.  He has the ability to command a room with his presence and the intellect to turn a small spark into a large flame.  He had a guarded way about him for many years, but when his first grandchild was born something changed and the defenses weakened.  He has a love for the now teenage grandson and two granddaughters that is not measurable by simple standards.  It's recognized by the daughter that was estranged as a child, always feeling a bit inadequate, as an actual facet of his pride and affection for her.

When he designed and established the development projects, he then also took residence in one of them.  He and his family moved from their country home (which he of course designed and helped build) and made the venture to "town".  Though not the maintenance manager he quickly became the "go-to guy".  He was always there to fix things that were broken, repair things that were damaged, plow the snow in the winter or whatever it was that his neighbors needed.  He did all this without compensation, simply because he had the capability to help them and because it was the right thing to do for others...

My dad and I may have had a hard time as I was growing up.  Now as an adult, when I take a  moment to look at him as a person and not just my dad, I understand.  No matter what has happened and how I may have felt then, my dad is probably the least selfish person I know.  I am someone who puts others first, I always want to help them, I have a deep compassion for them.  My grandma (my dad's mom) would tell me all the time "it's a curse AND a blessing dear".  I know that I got some of these traits from my mom.  Those of you who know her, absolutely love her..(Mrs. Landin!!!)  But in really thinking about it, it's my dad also that would go out of his way, all the time to help other people that either can't themselves (in ALL WAYS) or frankly just didn't know how to start.  I saw this constantly when I was a kid and still see it today.  

I always wanted to have a close relationship with my dad.  I was always jealous of those girls who were so close to their fathers...I'm elated to say that now as an adult, I have realized what a good man my dad is, what an amazing grandfather he is and that one of the characteristics that I'm blessed with, the blessing of helping others, came from him.

I would hope that anyone reading this blog would think about it and take it to heart.  Do you think about other people at all?  Are you so wrapped up in yourself and your own agenda that you can't see past yourself?  When someone you love is having a hard time, is it about them or you?  When someone has helped you, do you thank them?  When they ask for something in return to you think about what they need or what you need?

I'm not saying forget about yourself.  It's so true that we need to take time out for ourselves and take care of ourselves.  So many times, we tend to put our requirements on the back burner until everyone else is sated.  I tend to be altruistic.  That can be painful sometimes, because I can't expect everyone to be that way.  Sometimes, people are guarded for whatever reasons, and that is perfectly fine with me.

But there is a difference between being guarded and being selfish.  Someone who is guarded isn't purposely inconsiderate.  Just like being selfish is never pretty.  

To those of you I'm talking to, who forgot about everyone else in your journey:  Take a moment and check your reflection.

With warm regard and dedication to my dad -

T♥